Lily’s Healing Journey

Who Is Lily?

Lily, 28, has spent her life navigating the lasting effects of growing up in an emotionally abusive household. Her childhood taught her survival tactics—like fawning, self-doubt, and staying on constant high alert—that protected her in the chaos of her home. But now, these same habits are holding her back. She wants to build stronger relationships, feel confident in herself, and finally let go of the weight of her past.

 

The Origins of Lily’s Protector

Lily’s childhood was shaped by her mother’s unpredictable and often harsh anger. To survive, her nervous system adapted protective strategies:

·       Fawning: Lily learned to appease her mother to avoid conflict.

·       Self-Doubt: Constant criticism taught her to question her instincts and defer to others.

·       Hypervigilance: She stayed on high alert, scanning for signs of danger to prepare for her mother’s moods. These responses were her          nervous system’s way of saying, “Stay small, stay quiet, stay safe.”

 

Why Lily’s Protector Still Shows Up

Though Lily is now safe, her protector hasn’t caught up with her new reality. It still reacts as if she’s in the same dangerous environment:

·       In Relationships:

      She fawns, agreeing with others even when it hurts her.

·       At Work:

      Self-doubt stops her from sharing ideas or taking risks.

·       In Daily Life:

      Hypervigilance keeps her on edge, preventing her from fully relaxing.

The protector believes its job is still necessary—but Lily is ready to guide it to step back.

 

The Protector in Action

When Lily’s protector activates, it often brings up old survival responses. For example:

·       Fawning:  During an argument with her partner, Lily immediately agrees to avoid conflict, even when she disagrees.

·       Self-Doubt: In a work meeting, Lily second-guesses herself and avoids speaking up, even thinking that she's wrong or stupid.

·       Hypervigilance at Social Gatherings: Lily often feels tense and continuously scans for signs of disapproval during social events. She       sometimes thinks that she doesn't belong, is perceived as weird and awkward, or that people don't like her.

 

How Waji Supports Lily

Waji helps users like Lily by offering a structured process to understand and work with their protector, addressing the roots of these responses.

1. Working Through a Trigger

Scenario:

During a disagreement with her partner, Lily felt an overwhelming wave of shame and fear, leading her to immediately apologize and back down—even though she had valid concerns. This response mirrored her childhood behavior of fawning to avoid her mother’s explosive anger.

During Her Waji Session:

Activation Phase (Recall Session Focus):

Lily focused on the disagreement with her partner, vividly recalling the wave of shame and fear she felt.

·       Where she was:

Standing in the living room.

·       What she saw:

Her partner’s frustrated expression.

·       What she felt:

A tightness in her chest and a wave of fear washing over her.

Externalization Phase:

Lily identified her protector as a small child holding a shield, eager to please and avoid harm. She interacted with her protector by saying:

"My partner isn’t my mother, and even if things escalate, I’m an adult now. It’s exhausting to keep acting this way—it’s okay to disagree. I can trust him. I am safe here.

Over multiple sessions, Lily’s dialogue with her protector evolved. She reassured her protector that she was no longer the powerless child who had to keep the peace to stay safe.

Deactivation Phase:

In this phase, Lily reimagined herself responding differently during the argument:

·       Reimagining the Scene:

Lily pictured herself pausing, taking a deep breath, and calmly expressing her thoughts instead of apologizing.

·       Emotional Shift:

She visualized herself feeling grounded and confident, reinforcing a narrative where she could handle disagreements assertively without fear.

Reorientation Phase:

The session concluded by equipping Lily with a symbol of support to help her navigate future disagreements.

·       Future Stimulus Exposure: Lily imagined herself confidently navigating a similar disagreement with her partner, expressing her                      thoughts calmly and standing firm in her beliefs.

·       Symbol of Support: Lily chose a hammer as a reminder that the shield, once essential for survival, could now be set aside to make                room for more open and authentic connections.

By envisioning a hammer breaking through a shield, Lily reinforces her growing ability to let go of outdated defenses, approaching conflict with clarity and strength. This visualization supports her transition from fawning to standing up for herself, paving the way for healthier interactions and relationships. It helps her begin to believe that she is safe now and can trust her current environment, rather than being influenced by her past.

 

2 . Processing a Core Trauma Memory

Scenario:

After working on her trigger, a vivid childhood memory surfaced:

Description of the Memory:

Lily recalled cleaning the living room when her mother entered, angrily shouting about a speck of dust on the coffee table. Her mother’s cutting words—“useless” and “can’t get anything right”—echoed through her mind as she scrambled to clean, feeling powerless and deeply ashamed.

During Her Waji Session:

Activation Phase (Recall Session Focus):

Lily focused on the memory of her mother’s anger, recalling the shame and helplessness she felt as a child.

Externalization Phase:

Lily identified her protector as her younger self, shrinking inward and overwhelmed by fear and shame. She engaged with her protector by saying:

"Your mother’s anger wasn’t your fault. You didn’t deserve such harsh treatment. You did the best you could, and you’re safe now."

Deactivation Phase:

In this phase, Lily reimagined herself responding differently during the memory:

·       Reimagining the Scene: Lily pictured a version of her younger self standing tall, feeling calm despite her mother’s anger. She visualized         the presence of a kind adult stepping in to protect her, offering comfort and support.

Reorientation Phase:

·       Future Stimulus Exposure: Lily imagined future moments where she might face criticism, responding with a calm and measured tone,          confident in her own worth.

·       Symbol of Support: Lily chose a warm light as a symbol of safety and reassurance, reminding her that she is no longer alone and has           the strength to protect herself.

Through this process, Lily gradually reduced the emotional intensity tied to the memory. Over multiple sessions, her protector recognized that the danger was in the past, allowing Lily to start releasing the grip of her mother’s words and behaviors.

 

Reclaiming Power and Building New Patterns

Through Waji, Lily is learning to:

·       Recognize Triggers: She identifies when her protector activates, whether through fawning, self-doubt, or hypervigilance.

·       Create New Patterns: Lily practices responses that prioritize her needs, such as setting boundaries or speaking up.

·       Reframe Her Narrative: She shifts from “I need to stay small to be safe” to “I deserve to be heard and valued.”

 

Moving Toward Healing

Lily’s progress with Waji reflects the journey many users take:

·       Small Shifts Add Up:

      Each session helps her feel less controlled by old patterns.

·       Compassion for Herself:

      By understanding her protector’s origins, Lily no longer sees her responses as flaws but as strategies that helped her survive.

·       Reclaiming Confidence:

      As Lily processes her past, her protector relaxes, allowing her to trust herself and build a fulfilling future.

Key Takeaways for Users Like Lily

·       Your Protector’s Intentions Are Good:

      It wants to keep you safe, even if its methods no longer serve you.

·       Triggers Are Opportunities:

      Each trigger offers a chance to understand your protector better and guide it toward new responses.

·       Healing Is Gradual:

      Waji helps you take one step at a time, gently reducing the emotional intensity of past memories and creating room for growth.

Final Reflection

Like Lily, your protector has been with you every step of the way, helping you survive. Now, with Waji, you can show it that you’re ready to thrive. Each session is a chance to understand yourself better, release the weight of the past, and move forward with compassion and confidence.

 

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